


can't we just talk (talk about where we're goin')

by likeuwuahh



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Exes to Lovers, F/F, a mess, a poor attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 14:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeuwuahh/pseuds/likeuwuahh
Summary: jeongyeon is still healing. the wounds are still fresh, just beginning to seal close after exhausting months filled with her wallowing in self-pity. it’s been days of living in the past, wondering what went wrong. why did the love of her life walk away and tear her apart as she did? what happened to the promises of going through the tough times together? what happened to growing old and loving each other endlessly? she laughs at them all now – the promises that were laced with lies.





	can't we just talk (talk about where we're goin')

**Author's Note:**

  * For [enesnl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enesnl/gifts).



> for one of my fav people to exist, happy birthday charms :^)

Jeongyeon shudders as the harsh wind hits her full force when she exits her apartment. She tugs on the hoodie around her head, pulling on the frayed strings to tighten it, hoping it will keep out the icy and unpleasant weather.

Moments later, the sun comes up, peering out from behind the gloomy grey clouds and she lets out a sigh of relief. Perhaps the world didn’t shoot down her attempt to leave her apartment for once.

(it’s only momentary)

A few minutes later, the clouds cover up the effulgence and calmness again and the world becomes dark. She chuckles – it’s bitter.

The resemblance is uncanny.

For a moment Jeongyeon hesitates. She contemplates going back inside the house, into the warmth and comfort of her bed, but then she doesn’t. She doesn’t go back inside because she thinks it’s time for her to stop the self-pitying.

It’s been two-hundred and ninety-five days.

Two-hundred and ninety-five days since a raging storm caught Jeongyeon unaware, pulling her heart away from its place and leaving it bare and unprotected. Leaving it susceptible to the howling winds in the form of words that inflicted wound after wound.

Jeongyeon is still healing. The wounds are still fresh, just beginning to seal close after exhausting months filled with her wallowing in self-pity. It’s been days of living in the past, wondering what went wrong. Why did the love of her life walk away and tear her apart as she did? What happened to the promises of going through the tough times together? What happened to growing old and loving each other endlessly? She laughs at them all now – the promises that were laced with lies.

But even after everything that happened.

Even after she just abandoned her.

Jeongyeon can’t find it in her to hate her.

The memories they shared together are everywhere she goes. Like a ghost, they follow Jeongyeon, always lingering as she travels. The little café at the corner of the road where they spent their afternoons; the park outside college where they’d rant about their assignments and exams; the library where they tried to study together, but got kicked out; the 7/11 shop they ate ramen at when they craved it at two am in the morning.

Even if Jeongyeon wants to forget their memories, their past, she can’t. Instead, she’s learnt to accept them. She’s learnt to keep them as a painful experience, a lesson for her to not _fall_ easily.

(but, the truth is that she doesn’t really want to let go)

She doesn’t want to admit it. She doesn’t want to say it out loud. Even when her friends know, even when they _know_ that Jeongyeon is still in love with her, two-hundred and nine-five days later.

Jeongyeon shrugs them off when they show concern. She’s not in love with her. She’s moved on. She tries to convince herself. She repeats it in her head like a broken tape recorder. She tells them that she’s fine. She tells them to leave her be, she’s okay. They see through her façade. Yet, they feel helpless. They can’t do anything but watch their friend go down a spiral of destruction.

They want to understand why.

Two of them _do_ know why.

But it’s not their place to tell. They hate being in that spot – being aware of the reason yet seeing their friend in dire need of that explanation.

If Jeongyeon knew of the truth, the true reason why she’d been abandoned – she’d be furious. She’d be hurt. She’d be torn apart. She wouldn’t be able to handle it and she’d act out in rage.

That’s what they were told.

Instead, that girl left. She left, and with her, she took Jeongyeon’s heart, leaving a shell of a girl who was once brighter than the sun. She left, thinking it was the best decision to make, for Jeongyeon, for the two of them. She didn’t think about what would happen when she left. She didn’t think about the consequences. The sunshine, the safety and the love – she didn’t think about how quickly would it turn into darkness, insecurity and pain.

Jeongyeon walks faster as she sees the chalkboard sign outside the café she loves.

(they loved)

She sighs upon walking inside, appreciating the feel of the heated store after being out in the freezing cold. The scrumptious smell of coffee soothes Jeongyeon and she smiles; always the same.  She waves to her two friends who are busy with the grinders.

She moves forward and she scrunches up her nose when a new smell wafts into her nose. She panics. It’s familiar. It’s _too_ familiar and Jeongyeon _hates_ that it still has the comforting effect on her that it still had more than two-hundred and nine-five days before.

Her smell.

Jeongyeon looks up and can’t mistake the figure, even though she’s not facing her. She can’t mistake the sharp nose, the soft pink lips or the chiselled jaw. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath – it comes out shaky. The only difference is the change of hair. The familiar light blonde hair is now a deep shade of red.

She despises the fact that she _still_ looks beautiful all this time later. She despises that she can _still_ recognise her by her smell. She despises that even after all this time, Jeongyeon can’t forget the feel of her bare body pressing up against her own.

Jeongyeon despises that she is standing right in front of her, brewing a furious storm again. But, it’s no longer the same storm.

Sana.

 _Her_ Sana.

It doesn’t even feel foreign to her when she repeats those two words in her mind. They roll off her tongue like flowing honey – smooth, unhindered and, sweet.

(to Jeongyeon, it’s as if time is at a standstill with Sana standing right in front of her)

\---

Sixteen-year-old Jeongyeon rests her head on the wooden desk of her classroom, sighing softly at the feel of the cool surface. The heat outside is tormenting her to her bones and the loud bickering of her classmates isn’t helping either. There’s an urge to block out the noise, and with a grumble, Jeongyeon sifts through her bag and pulls out her over-the-head earphones, sliding it over her ears. She smiles immediately when the soothing beats of her playlist roll in, muting the rest of the world. She goes back to resting her head, crossing her arms against the table and leaning her head against them.

She lets herself sink into her world of momentary bliss until the grumpy teacher walks in to start their mathematics lesson for the start of this awfully stressful year. The shrill of the bell alarms Jeongyeon and she takes off her headphones with a defeated sigh.

(she really wishes she could keep them on day instead of listening to the stupid gossip from the girls around the school)

Jeongyeon slouches in her chair, fiddling with her favourite fineliner pen as the teacher walks in. He clears his throat, waiting for the class to settle down – not working out in his favour. The teacher walks out and her classmates bring their conversations down to murmurs, but a few moments later, there’s pin-drop silence. She doesn’t pay attention to the reason because she’s busy doodling on her page, trying to distract herself from the torturous lesson that will begin soon.

“Yoo Jeongyeon, eyes up.” The teacher’s voice booms in the room. There’s a fit of giggles in the opposite corner and she rolls her eyes, but listens.

She looks up.

She freezes.

There’s a beautiful girl standing at the front of her class, incredibly shy – at least from what Jeongyeon can see. She’s glancing around the classroom and Jeongyeon pities her. She pities her because there’s only two years left to graduate, meaning that everyone has their own little cliques and friend groups.

(other than Jeongyeon, of course)

Well, Jeongyeon _does_ have a group of friends she hangs out with but you can say it won’t be fitting for the _pretty_ _girl_ to be part of it, for sure. She hears her classmates mumble about coming in so late, one of those gossip girls even critiquing the way she wears her uniform. Jeongyeon scoffs at the audacity of that girl. Insecurity really brings out a whole ton of negativity in some people.

“Welcome your new classmate to the school.” The man glares at his students before turning to the girl. “Please introduce yourself.”

“Hello, my name is Minatozaki Sana. Please treat me well.” Pretty girl bows.

Jeongyeon is in awe. The girl has a name as pretty as herself.

“Now, who’s willing to show Miss Minatozaki around?” The teacher asks.

Everyone avoids his gaze as he tries to find a suitable person to show Sana around. Jeongyeon swears the girl looks like she’s about to cry with the lack of welcome. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots the annoying douche of a guy a few rows away from her about to raise his hand, but Jeongyeon knows that it would be a terrible choice. He’s more interested in jumping into someone’s pants than being responsible. Typical, typical.

“I’ll do it.” Jeongyeon raises her hands and all heads turn towards her. She turns red at an alarming rate when pretty girl stares at her with gratitude in her eyes.

(Jeongyeon’s heart stutters in her chest at the sight)

She thinks she’s about to die on the spot when pretty girl comes to sit next to her instead of the annoying douche.

She thinks she’s about to die on the spot when pretty girl offers her hand to shake, introducing herself.

She _does_ think she’s on the brink of dying when pretty girl smiles up at her, laughing when Jeongyeon calls her pretty girl instead of Sana.

It’s enough for Jeongyeon to realise that her beauty is just the start of the masterpiece that is Minatozaki Sana.

(Jeongyeon tags her laugh as a sound she wants to hear again)

\---

By the end of senior year, Jeongyeon and Sana somehow became good friends. She snuck herself into Jeongyeon’s life and nothing has been the same since then. And then, they’d both picked the _same_ college to attend which meant that Jeongyeon and Sana met more often.

(Jeongyeon pretended to be annoyed, but she was glad to have a familiar face)

College life is a new level of stress Jeongyeon never expects. Each semester feels like she’s sitting through final year exams on repeat. Even now, as she enters her second year of college, she’d rather smack her head against a brick wall than deal with this overbearing stress.

But, that’s not her only problem.

Minatozaki Sana isn’t really _the_ problem.

Well, you see, there _is_ a problem. Jeongyeon’s turmoil is definitely stirred by the girl. Why? Because Sana exchanged her nerdy glasses for contacts that showed off the depth of her honey eyes _and_ switched her look to a casual style with the leather jackets and ripped jeans (that was just perfect for her). It’s more like Jeongyeon needs someone to blame for her lack of concentration in the entirety of the previous year.

(still, she knows it’s her own fault)

But, she doesn’t have time to think of Sana when she has assignments and exams and practical work to be working on and plenty of readings to catch up with. The list never ends and the work just piles up.

With a heavy sigh, Jeongyeon collapses against the trunk of a tree in their courtyard. She stretches out her legs and makes herself comfortable. She reaches into her bag and fishes out her textbook filled with readings, dreading the task already. Jeongyeon drops it on her lap and decides to take a little break. For a moment or two, she closes her eyes, relishing the heat of the sun that warms Jeongyeon to her bones.

A hint of a smile graces her lips as she thinks of how the previous year began, when she couldn’t recognise Sana because of the change of outfit. She teased Sana about it all day, trying to mask how her view of Sana shifted even more from school. All the jittery feelings were invoked when she was around, enough for Jeongyeon to fear for the health of her poor heart.

(there’s no possibility of denying it anymore)

She likes Sana, all of her hyperactivity and clinginess included. She likes her and she’s worried for her own poor heart. Each time that girl pops up out of nowhere with that cheeky smile, it’s enough to stop Jeongyeon’s beating heart. Adding to that, is Sana’s flirty nature. Jeongyeon fears her death is just around the corner with the way the pick-up lines spill out of her mouth like a second nature.

A head lands on her lap and Jeongyeon is taken off-guard, flinching and dropping the textbook she had a tight grip on. Coincidentally, it falls right onto the person who thought it was a good idea to land on her lap. Jeongyeon snickers when she hears the whining from the girl.

“That’s a nice welcome for the love of your life.” Sana grumbles, rubbing her reddening forehead. Jeongyeon is glad that Sana can’t see her face right now because she’s beet red.

(see what she means about flirty nature?)

“You asked for it. Why did you try to surprise me?” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes and tucks the book back into her bag. She knows she won’t be doing any more reading while Sana is with her.

Sana sulks some more before turning around and burrowing herself in Jeongyeon’s lap. “Cut me some slack. I just had to take STAT.”

“You wouldn’t be struggling if you’d paid attention to the lecturer instead of ogling her.” Jeongyeon points out, making Sana huff. “Not to mention that you’re behind on–”

“Sunmi is another story, okay? Most people don’t pay attention to their lecturers because they’re old and speak in monotone but _Sunmi_ is like, the total opposite. She’s so beautiful, you can’t help but be distracted.” Sana sighs, drifting off into dreamland.

“Your excuses just keep increasing. Let’s go to the café after your last class. Bring your assignment with you.” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.

Sana shuffles in Jeongyeon’s lap and turns to face her, a soft smile playing on her lips. Jeongyeon forgets to breathe and her chest tightens upon being blessed with such pure happiness. It paints sunshine all over Sana’s face.

 _The_ masterpiece.

“Thank you Jeongie.” Sana whispers endearingly.

Jeongyeon’s heart stutters in her chest.

Being around Sana is _extremely_ unhealthy for her heart.

(but she lets her stay anyway)

\---

Exam time always takes a toll on them both. Jeongyeon is usually holed up in her room or the library on campus with little rest and living off cups of coffee and energy drinks. She’s been scolded for the energy drinks, but it helps her stay awake, what can she do?

Ah, right. Her situation with Sana is getting worse than she claimed it to be months earlier. Maybe it’s because Sana is now a whole lot bolder than ever before, or maybe it’s because Jeongyeon lets her to whatever she wants because how can she say _no_ to Sana.

That’s why Sana is currently studying in Jeongyeon’s room. Well, she’s not really studying at all. She’s just distracting Jeongyeon from her studying because all Sana _is_ doing is humming and hanging upside down on the bed.

“Don’t you need to study?” Jeongyeon clucks her tongue at Sana.

“It’s boring. I can’t pay attention for even five minutes.” Sana grumbles, setting herself back on her feet.

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes as she leans against the headboard of the bed. She lets Sana be for a few moments, because she doesn’t know how to get that girl to study. She miraculously does well without studying as much as Jeongyeon, a skill of Sana’s that she envies. But, she considers a proposal.

“How about this. If you study properly for an hour every day until the exams, I’ll let you ask me something as a reward.” Jeongyeon proposes.

“Like, I can make you do something?” Sana whips her head around to face Jeongyeon.

“It has to be reasonable!” Jeongyeon glares at Sana, who erupts in a fit of giggles.

“Alright, deal. As long as I’m with you during that one hour, I’m sure I’ll study well.” Sana promises.

Jeongyeon wishes she could concentrate with Sana beside her.

The seven days left until the exams go by in a breeze. Sana adheres to her promise and studies with Jeongyeon every day. Jeongyeon suffers through her studying the entire time. She prays that her results don’t turn out as bad as last year.

Sitting on her bed again, Jeongyeon is attempting to study while Sana uses her study desk for her own work. She glances at the Japanese girl every few minutes and Jeongyeon can’t help but let her gaze linger when Sana looks so cute while she studies. Sana looks up then and catches Jeongyeon staring at her, sticking out her tongue.

Jeongyeon forces herself to concentrate on her work again.

(well, she tries)

She hears some rustling around her and Jeongyeon chooses to ignore it, until she feels the shift of the weight on the bed. Sana tucks herself against Jeongyeon’s side and that tightening of her chest returns, tenfold worse.

“What are you doing?” Jeongyeon manages to form a sentence with significant difficulty.

“Resting my eyes.” Sana muffles a yawn, snuggling deeper against Jeongyeon’s neck. The heat creeps up to her cheeks quicker than ever before and Jeongyeon struggles to calm the quickening of the beats of her heart.

“Ten minutes.” Jeongyeon’s resolve fades.

(not that she had any bit in the first place)

\---

“Okay, I’ve decided.” Sana jumps on Jeongyeon’s bed as she enters. The memories of the last exam were starting to fade away.

“On what?” Jeongyeon answers absentmindedly as she unpacks their dinner. She plates out their takeout and rips the chopstick packaging, breaking a pair for herself and Sana.

“You said you’d do something I asked you to.” Sana watches Jeongyeon as she takes a big mouthful of her food. Jeongyeon nods, waiting for her to continue. “Go out on a date.”

Jeongyeon chokes on the food she’s eating, not expecting to hear that from Sana. “With who? I thought we said it had to be reasonable.”

“Me, of course. Did you really think I’d set you up with some stranger?” Sana rolls her eyes.

It takes a few moments for Jeongyeon to process Sana’s sentence. Did she just get asked out on a date? Sana likes her? Since when? She feels embarrassed with her lack of ability to decode Sana’s actions over the past few years. Perhaps she was showing that she likes Jeongyeon the entire time and Jeongyeon was too blind to notice.

“I can’t believe it. You _never_ picked up on my flirting?” Sana gasps.

“Hey! You can’t blame me. I thought you were just being friendly.” Jeongyeon argues.

Sana glares at her and proceeds to make a point, taking Jeongyeon’s food out of her hand and placing it on the table. Jeongyeon opens her mouth to argue but Sana straddles her waist, resting her legs on either side of her hips. She flushes red at Sana’s actions, feeling extremely hot all of a sudden.

“W-what are you doing?” Jeongyeon stutters, refusing to make eye-contact with Sana.

“Tell me, which of your other friends do _this_.” Sana points to her position.

“Okay, I got your point.” Jeongyeon almost whispers. She doesn’t know where to put her hands and leaves them hanging by her side.

Sana smirks as she sits on Jeongyeon’s lap, definitely enjoying the sight of her flustered state. “Let’s go out on Friday.”

“… Sure.”

Jeongyeon has no time to prepare for Sana’s sudden hug and squealing, as well as a flurry of kisses.

She thinks she could get used to this.

(she kind of has already)

\---

Sana is the one who prepares everything for their first date, but Jeongyeon is a nervous and stuttering mess the entire time. But, when Sana slips her hand through Jeongyeon’s, it’s as if the anxiety about the date disappears in the air like smoke.

It makes Jeongyeon feel like she’s holding the world in her hands.

And, when Sana kisses Jeongyeon softly at the door of her apartment, she feels euphoric.

She feels complete.

It’s tender and it’s soft.

(but it’s perfect)

\---

Pushing in dates while in college proves to be more difficult than either of them expect. Towards the end of their college degrees, time is like catching smoke. More assignments, more analysis, more reports and case studies. It frustrates them, but they manage to sneak it time to spend together, even when the world wants them to be apart.

Being dating for a year already (it was miraculously Jeongyeon who asked to make things official), the two of them are almost inseparable. Even their friends tease them about being joined by the hips as much as they can be. Last year, they were almost always snuggling in bed together, watching some random show on their TV and now, they can rarely find time to even kiss.

(but, of course they make time for that)

Jeongyeon’s phone buzzes on her table as she finishes checking over the last of her case study. She smiles when she sees her girlfriend’s name on the screen.

“Hey, how was the meeting?” Jeongyeon greets as she picks up the phone.

“Oh, god. Don’t get me started. No one is doing what they’re meant to do. I hate group assignments.” Sana whines over the phone.

Jeongyeon feels the need to give her a big hug and plenty more kisses. Checking the time, she smiles. Perhaps they can do with a late-night snack.

“Do you have time to meet?” They both ask at the same time.

Sana giggles and Jeongyeon feels all her stress and worries disappear. She still loves that sound more than anything else in her life.

“7/11. See you soon baby.” Sana whispers, before hanging up.

By the time Jeongyeon walks into the shop, Sana is waiting for her by the window seats, ramen bowl ripped open and already cooking. She shakes her head as Sana smiles smugly at her and Jeongyeon slides into the seat next to hers. She pulls Sana towards her, gripping her chin with her thumb and kissing her softly. Jeongyeon wants to express a lot in that kiss.

Comfort.

Her gratitude.

Her love.

Sana sinks into Jeongyeon’s embrace when she pulls her in for a hug, sighing softly. Jeongyeon whispers words of encouragement and adds in a few proclamations of love too.

“I love you too, but I think the ramen will get cold.” Sana teases, pulling on Jeongyeon’s nose when she pulls away.

“How about we make this a weekly thing?” Jeongyeon suggests, glancing over to Sana who’s busy inhaling her ramen. She gets scolded, of course – inhaling ramen is a no-no. Chew first and savour.

“I think it would be nice.” Sana smiles warmly. Jeongyeon wipes away at the corner of her lips, getting rid of the sauce stain.

(she gets called the messy eater, but it’s actually Sana)

\---

They graduated successfully and celebrated it with friends. Eighteen years of schooling finally finishes and it’s time to move on to a new leg in life. Jeongyeon doesn’t hesitate to ask Sana to move in with her, even though her parents disapprove. Her friends encourage her to do it too and she thinks it’s a brilliant idea.

Because her happiness resides where Sana is. Sana _is_ her home.

She sells her previous apartment and finds something closer to the central hub of their town. She thinks it’ll be easy for both of them to travel.

It’s their next date where Jeongyeon places the silver key in Sana’s hand. Sana is a mess of tears when Jeongyeon asks her. and, at first, she even notices the flecks of hesitation in Sana’s eyes. But, in a quick second, Sana says yes and kisses her with everlasting love.

(she thinks one of the most beautiful moments of her life)

\---

Jeongyeon senses that things decline a year later, when they both start working. Sana’s constant struggles to find a job that revolves around her degree strains their relationship. It’s new to her. Sana is always smiling. She’s always being the one who lifts the mood between the two of them. She’s always happy.

So, seeing her with her head in her hands breaks Jeongyeon. It hurts her heart to see the girl she loves suffering. She hugs her tight at night, showers her with kisses and praises of being strong. Jeongyeon wants Sana to know that she’s there for her, to share the burden of the stress. She thinks she can help.

They have their first fight.

She brings Sana a possible job offer and gets shot down immediately, being accused of not trusting Sana to find a job herself. It’s never that, but Sana finds it hard to believe. It’s the stress from the constant loss of jobs that continues to pile onto her, Jeongyeon is aware. She feels like she made things worse.

Sana apologises when she finds a new job, but things aren’t the same.

Jeongyeon feels like their relationship is being held together by a frayed string; a little more pressure, and they’ll break.

\---

(it breaks)

\---

Jeongyeon cries herself to sleep in the empty apartment that used to be occupied with the love of her life.

Sana leaves and takes Jeongyeon’s heart with her. The girl she leaves behind is only a shadow of the person she used to be.

(but Sana doesn’t know)

\---

The first two weeks feel like years to Jeongyeon. There is endless pain. She locks everyone out. Even when her friends urge her to open the door, she can’t find it in her. She repeats the image of Sana leaving, over and over again.

She remembers hearing the crack of her heart when Sana walked out of the door. Jeongyeon remembers screaming until her throat was sore – screaming for Sana to stay, to not give up.

(she didn’t)

\---

She counts the days from Sana’s departure. From when she leaves Jeongyeon’s life. From when Sana breaks her into pieces.

Eighty-nine, ninety, ninety-one, ninety-two.

Jeongyeon feels like days all blur together, filled with never ending agony.

It’s constant.

She looks through albums filled with their memories. She remembers their dates. She remembers the moments of love.

She lies to her friends and tells them that she’s okay.

Why is it that even when she wants to move on, she can’t?

(she’s stuck in a loop)

\---

When she walks out on the two-hundred and ninety-fifth day, it’s only the fourth time she properly leaves her apartment since the day Sana brew a recipe for a storm. Her heart is back in its place, slowly.

Jeongyeon thinks it’s a good day to re-visit old memories that don’t torment her so much. The sun is out and it makes her feel warm. It reminds her of the days they used to ride a bike together. Happy moments.

But then, the clouds cover the sun and she wants to go back inside. However, in the spur of the moment, she pushes to leave. She won’t let the clouds shadow her today.

She walks to her favourite café with a smile on her face. She’s proud of herself. The familiar aroma of coffee is nostalgic. And, that smell is mixed with another one, something she still remembers after all this time.

Jeongyeon’s heart is beating fast again. It’s as if they’ve been taken back to when they were sixteen. Back, when they met for the first time.

“Sana…” Jeongyeon barely whispers it, but she sees Sana’s shoulders stiffen. She doesn’t know why she let it slip out of her mouth.

She notices Sana’s shaking shoulders.

Shaking shoulders…

Sana is crying?

Jeongyeon blames her next action on her natural instincts. She’s immediately standing in front of Sana, pulling her into a hug – a much needed hug. She almost cries when she’s surrounded by Sana’s warmth again. Sana’s sobbing increase when Jeongyeon wraps her arms around her waist. Perhaps, it was a bad idea.

There is no storm brewing inside her chest again. It’s peaceful.

It’s not a storm that brings tremendous pain. It’s a reunion of their hearts, that is bringing the little pieces of lost love back its origin. It’s the sun after the storm that brings a new day and a new beginning.

\---

Once Sana is settled down, Jeongyeon brings her to sit at their table in the corner. She sees Sana’s hesitance to stay. There is guilt and self-loathing present in her eyes. They’re wet with unshed tears. Jeongyeon doesn’t want to see her cry again.

“Why don’t you hate me? I broke you.” Sana’s question is something that Jeongyeon has always been prepared for.

“You did break me. And it took a lot of time to be able to stand on my feet. I think you’ll be surprised to hear that it was our love that helped me up again.” Jeongyeon smiles, it’s sincere. “I love you, and I always have. I always will. I was holding in a lot of pain when you left and it took me months to sit down and think about _what_ I was actually so upset with. It wasn’t you. God, it was never you. I tried to blame you. I thought it would make it easy, but it’s not. I was in pain because I couldn’t help you when you needed someone to lean on. Our relationship failed because you had so many burdens. I didn’t listen and just wanted to solve the problem–”

“It was your mother.” Sana cuts into Jeongyeon’s explanation. She can’t bear that Jeongyeon is blaming herself for their breakup.

It isn’t her fault.

It isn’t their fault.

“What?” Jeongyeon frowns.

“Your parents never approved of us. They always wanted you to find someone _better_ even though you told them that you didn’t want that.” Sana smiles bitterly. “The reason I couldn’t find a job is because your mother made sure I didn’t find one.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t know how to respond.

“That day, when you came to me with a job offer. Your mother came to visit me earlier. She laughed in my face and threatened me. She mocked my ability to get a job. I never told her anything, so how did she know?” Sana pauses. “This place is small, word gets around fast. Your mother said something and no one wanted to hire me anymore. She said that herself. I was angry and I was taking it out on you. I couldn’t let you suffer. That’s all that you’d be doing if you stayed with me. Leaving was the only choice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jeongyeon cries out, hating that Sana was the one who was in so much pain all this while, alone.

“I didn’t – I couldn’t tell you. You love your parents. It would’ve broken you–”

“But you leaving broke me more. I love _you_ Sana. I would’ve followed you anywhere if you’d told me.” Jeongyeon crouches beside Sana, wiping away her tears. “You’re a fool. But you’ll always be my fool.”

Sana falls apart when she hears that sentence but Jeongyeon is there in an instant, holding her close and soothing her cries. All that pain she felt in the days Sana was gone, her mother was the cause. She was the cause of the breaking of their relationship. She was the cause of the damn storm that tore her apart, tore them apart.

Jeongyeon feels the anger building in her chest. She wants to scream at her mother for meddling. She wants to scream at her for breaking her own child.

Sana places a hand on her cheek and Jeongyeon turns to face her. “Don’t. I know you want to go to her. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. This is why I didn’t tell you.”

“Sana, I can’t let this be. She ruined our lives. She destroyed yours completely. She has no right to do such a thing.” Jeongyeon shakes her head.

“Okay, but not today. Please, don’t rush to make such a decision. Don’t be rash.” Sana pleads.

“Are you back for good?” Jeongyeon asks.

“No, I just came to show your mother that I have a well-paying job and a good life outside of here that I made for myself. I think I would’ve chickened out of meeting you too. After hearing from our friends what you’ve been through, I… really didn’t know if you’d ever want to see me again, let alone talk to me like this.” Sana explains, feeling shy.

“Tomorrow, we’ll go together. And then, I’m going to come home with you.” Jeongyeon declares.

Sana widens her eyes. “See, there you go with your rash decisions.”

“It’s not. You are my home. We have a lot of time to make up for and I want to dive straight into it.” Jeongyeon grumbles.

“No.” Sana denies.

Jeongyeon almost cries when she hears her say no. “Two-hundred and ninety-five days.”

“I don’t think we can jump back in. We need time. Let’s start again.” Sana suggests.

“Okay, but can I kiss you first?” Jeongyeon pleads.

(Sana doesn’t have it in her to say no)


End file.
